Holy shit, what a movie! It’s going to be hard to put my thoughts on it into words but I’ll try my best. But before we begin, a quick warning: my reading of this film centers heavily on the subtext of sexual violence and abuse. In fact, I think any analysis of this movie that doesn't take this into account is a flawed one.

To begin: this is a great adaptation. Lots of iconic shots and lines from the original silent film are kept, and nearly every scene is retained. It also kept a lot of my favorite aspects from the original source material of Dracula as well (including that sweet sweet Lucy/Mina doomed yuri via Ellen and Anna...). And oh my goodness, the cinematography! The colors! The way the movie uses colors and lighting feels like a revival of the way old silent movies use color tinting and I am here for it.

The story is about the same apart from one important and very smart change: Ellen’s role in the movie is expanded, and she is made the main character. Her involvement with Orlock begins not when he sees Hutter’s locket, but rather when she uses her metaphysical abilities as a child to call out for a guardian angel. Orlock’s psychic link torments her and causes her to have fits and visions that everyone around her dismisses as mere hysteria. But once her husband Thomas goes on his trip to Orlock’s castle- and promptly goes missing- her visions return. Doctors are confounded by her mysterious illness, ignoring the truth she tries to explain: she is being tormented by her abuser.

Let’s discuss the “shadow”, which I think is one of the most potent pieces of imagery in the film, one inspired by some of the most impressive shots from the original film. I believe it represents repression. Many Dracula adaptations try to put in a theme of repression of sexuality to mixed results (see: all the films that default to “Lucy is an evil slut and Mina is a pure virgin”), but this is the only film that understands that the true evil is that a culture of repression makes it impossible to talk about exploitation and abuse. It continues to happen, but the monster cannot be acknowledged or brought into the daylight.

Orlock’s attacks and blood drinking scenes are filmed like scenes of sexual assault, and the way the men in Ellen’s life would rather tie her down than listen to her is a clear metaphor for how victims are silenced. Another succinct example is one of the earlier scenes in the movie is two parents (Freidrich and Anna) dismissing their children’s cries that a monster is lurking in the bedroom; their children are then found dead much later. Which begs the question: what if they had believed them? What if they believed Ellen? What if they listened?

Instead, they don’t listen, and the only way Ellen is able to defeat the Nosferatu is by letting him in, and letting him devour her until the sun rises (God what an amazing shot, seeing the sky of dawn...)- sacrificing herself to bring the shadow into the light, destroying Orlock forever.

This movie was so good!!! Even beyond the deep themes, I was also very excited to get scared by a Dracula movie for the first time. Imagine that! I spend a lot of my time watching vampire films but this is the first one I can say had me actually frightened of the horror.

I think my only complaint is that yet again we see a Dracula film that doesn’t challenge the myths and stereotypes about Romania present in the original text (and 99% of adaptations), and I think that’s a missed opportunity, even if this film very much sympathizes with those that are deemed as hysterical and superstitious by the mainstream. Like, I’m sure real life Romanians and Romani people are pretty sick of being cast as crazy townsfolk, lol. (At least the Romani are portrayed as effective vampire hunters instead of “servants of the count” this time around.. grimaces). Honestly I feel like we have to have this conversation about every adaptation of Dracula, and most vampire media tbh. I also kind of wish we could have gotten an ending where Ellen didn’t have to die, but it was in the original film, so I guess I can’t complain too much. She’s a really well-written character with a central role, so I don’t think she counts as being ‘fridged’.

But yeah, other than those two points, this movie RULES, especially if you’re a film buff. I spent half the time being like “oh this movie GETS HOW IT FEELS” and half of the time stimming excitedly at the cinematography. Easily one of my top 10 (I should make another favorite movies list sometime... The one I made on my blog near the start of my site is very very outdated)

In other news! My next shrine is under way. I have my outline, and how I will do all the complicated code bits figured out and I am so excited to bring it to fruition. Now to make a bunch of graphics and actually write the damn thing...!

Today's song is: Nosferatu - Crysania (Believe In Me)

You may remember nearly a year ago I did a big blog post outlining which Bella Sara horses influenced which Clovenglade horses, and other design inspiration I took. It only felt right to give credit to what the project is blatantly inspired by. Well, with Beast Friends 8 new horse cards and a bunch of interesting critters have been added to the cast, so here's part 2 to that.

Dandelion Bunny - Part of the main six Beast Friends, which I’ll be covering first. I had plans for expansion card packs as far back as when I was making the point-and-click game, so the Dandelion Bunny got a cameo appearance in that, as well as showing up as a plush in the cottage. Magical Friends is the Bella Sara series that I have the most nostalgia for, so Beast Friends is directly inspired, because I knew I wanted to populate Clovenglade with similarly magical animals. The Dandelion Bunny itself is something secretive and shy and ephemeral as seeds on the wind, only appearing in the springtime, matching with the themes of the whole project. I also wanted to give Oskar the most special unique collectable in the point-and-click game since he's the default horse and all. So, the Dandelion Bunny was born.

Pyre-Mouse - Directly inspired by the Tasselmouse, but with an aesthetic and personality more befitting Juliana. I also have these super vague memories of having to find a fiery imp creature in Bella Sara Adventures for a quest, which was kept as an item in the inventory until you could deliver it (and I of course felt weird about parting with it) so it's aesthetically based on that imp thing as well.

Canyon Hawk - Toby needed a sharper, cooler looking companion animal, and I like animating birds and wings and such. Not inspired by anything specific, I just like to draw birds, and the design came pretty naturally.

Blackwolf - First appearing in the point-and-click game, the Blackwolf actually goes back a little further than that. You know the dark woods labelled “Return to Wygol Village” in Clovenglade that will take you back to my homepage? Originally that was going to also be a page, and you could find wolves there, I just couldn't figure out what to actually, like... put there. Wolves were villains in Bella Sara but are one of my favorite animals, so I knew I wanted to reframe them in a positive light for this project from the very beginning. So, Blackwolves take care of and protect forests with no Unicorn. What happened to the Unicorn of the dark forest in the south of Clovenglade? I have no idea, but the Blackwolves take good care of the woods in its stead.

Spicebear - First appeared as my replacement for the original teddybear sprite in the Cottage. I already had some rough ideas for what Beast Friends would be but once I had the design I had a more solid idea. It's a little inspired by the Tea-Leaf Panda but not entirely so.

Celestial Fish - Fills out the glitter and rainbows quota for the main cast, and I wanted to include an aquatic animal as well. Since Dawnbreaker is somewhat lore important, being the Princess’s horse, it makes sense to include her companion in the main cast of adoptables even if Dawnbreaker herself isn't a horse available to be picked in the Stable. No specific design inspiration.

Tidal & Selkie Seal - Tidal is the character I played as in the Bella Sara 3DS game, which lets you customize your playable horse. The gameplay is pretty simple but the visuals are nice and the main appeal is playing dressup and galloping around pretty environments. (I quit after that weirdly difficult mission to follow perfume scents to find who stole the gems or whatever lol). I wanted to make a mer-horse eventually but I don't think that was an option. So here's more how I envisioned her. The Selkie Seal she's depicted with is based on selkie myths, since I already had a fish creature.

Marmalade & Twirlycat - A normal horse with a cute design, and a rejected design for Juliana’s companion creature. Very much inspired by the Sun Cat and a little bit inspired by Espeon, it was meant to be a cat with psychic powers. I like Marmalade’s bob hairstyle. The Sun Cat was my favorite Magical Friend.

Zenith and Eclipse Lion - The card’s design is something between Cybele and Jonathan... I love the appearance of a dark brown horse with a golden mane. I knew I wanted an eclipse theme for this horse, so the dark/light contrast of the lion is meant to evoke that a bit, as well as the Blackcomb Lion Thunder was friends with.

Lattice and Garden-Drake - Directly inspired by Ivy, and I didn't realize how direct it really was until I peeked at Ivy’s card again. The purple berries are meant to evoke the Bobolink, another favorite Bella Sara creature.

Cinnamon and Pumpkin Bat - The pumpkin bat first originates from my 2023 Halloween adoptables. I’m still really proud of that animated sprite so I gave it a cameo here. Cinnamon’s status as a unicorn is pretty mysterious though, as they're pretty unique in Clovenglade lore and each one corresponds to a forest- Clovenglade only has two major forests. She's a foal, so perhaps her birth means that a new forest will appear, or she'll go live in the dark woods that the Blackwolves are tending to. Who knows... Either way, I like drawing night-time scenes like this one.

Omen and Gargoyle - I firmly believe that one of the coolest things about Bella Sara is the presence of cool and scary and badass horses in addition to ones that are just pretty or cute, which isn't common in “girly media” and made me feel very seen as a kid. Omen is cool and scary, being a sort of shrouded oracle, and she was a ton of fun to draw. The gargoyle is just a gargoyle (well, actually technically a grotesque... whatever)

Barghest and Churchgrim - another cool/scary horse, and a bit inspired by Conall, the half-wolf-half-horse. I liked Conall a lot, especially in “Bella’s Gift”. Barghest is also inspired by legends of churchgrims and other creepy black dogs that portend your doom, but she's a kind presence rather than a forboding one and just wants to lead you safely home- either in life, or to the afterlife. Out of all the artwork for these cards this is the coolest one to me so far.

Titania and Fairy Cat - Filling the brightly colored pretty horse quota, I really like how she turned out. No particular inspiration for her companion animal, but I love a good orange and purple color scheme.

That's all for Beast Friends. In other news I’ve been rearranging a lot of my pages to keep my folders more organized and my URLs more concise. I shouldn't have any weird dead links or 404s now (I was pretty meticulous) but let me know if something is broken. AND I’m super excited I’m going to watch Nosferatu this Thursday!!! I’ve heard mostly good things but have managed to avoid spoilers...

Also, I’d like to start doing a “song of the day” for each of my blog posts (and will be going back to add one to my New Year’s post retroactively). Because I really just love music and sharing the music that I enjoy!

Today's song is: A Certain Person by Light Asylum

Well, it's time to ring in the new year again! 2025 here we come...! That's officially in “the future”. Last year I made a post full of new year's resolutions and goals for the site and other fun things so I think I’d like to look back on it and how much of the goals I set I actually ended up accomplishing.

2024 has been a pretty great year for me. I moved out of my parents’ house, I got a dog of my very own, and I’ve experienced a lot of growth and happiness. I’ve been struggling more with some of my OCD compulsions this year (I highly suspect my constant edits of Clovenglade graphics is related to this, if you remember when I was editing and redrawing a bunch of the stable horse sprites...) but I’ve been doing my best to curb them. I also accomplished a lot on the web-side of things and I am super happy about it. I made a lot of strides with game development and making my site more interactive and immersive in particular.

My main new year's resolution last year was to quit using social media (particularly Tumblr), which I have stuck true to my word and haven't logged in since then. Unfortunately I still need to kick a nasty habit I have when I’m on my phone to just lurk on random Tumblr accounts and backread their posts. Oddly I never have this compulsion when I am on my laptop (and it does feel compulsive). Very weird. So my main goal for this year in terms of online health is to kick that habit as well.

But as for the web-goals I set for future projects, back then:

“I want to add more interactive stuff to the website. Particularly, I’d love to add a sort of walk-around game to Clovenglade where the player can ride their chosen horse through the countryside and enjoy the sights and some NPC dialogue and so on. I’m not sure how I’ll accomplish this, but I’d especially like to have it seamlessly display the horse the player has chosen. Making something that's mechanically satisfying while still being able to be compatible with the rest of Clovenglade will be a challenge. I’m not sure when I’ll start attempting to act on this concept but I definitely have some ideas on the backburner there.”

Well! This happened :) Hilariously my original plan for this at the time (with the working title “Fields of Clovenglade” as I thought I would only be able to have one small field area... ha!) was to try and have the player control an image on a massive scrolling background and try very hard to position images of NPCs on said giant scrolling background... (with dialogue on mouseover, accomplished through the title property, I think?) I wasn't sure if I could make a “real game” even though it was the final piece Clovenglade needed. Thankfully, a perfect tool for this particular idea existed in the form of Adventure Game Studio, and the coolest part of my website was born. (I even got the “seamless sync with your selected horse” thing in there, eventually!) All in all, a complete success!

“I also want to make some kind of potion cooking game and have been wanting to for a while. I want to make it so the player can select 2 or 3 different ingredients and get a different result depending on which they picked, and each potion has a different “effect”. I’m not sure how I’ll go about making this but I’d love to create something like this for my Arcade page.”

Done! Mostly as a test-run with Twine which I’m still not 100% well versed in, and it's got some kind of ugly looking default styling since I couldn't figure out how to get CSS working on there, but you can, in fact, make some potions.

“I’d also love to make some kind of dollmaker at some point, the hardest part would probably just be making all the assets lol”

I completed this one as well. It's pretty neat! I had a lot of fun coming up with some gloomy goth looks for this game, so check it out if you haven't.

“I also want to look into Twine! The Dungeon was one of the first projects I even finished for the site and I think making an expanded remake of it using Twine would be really cool sometime.”

See above, I didn't end up remaking the Dungeon (but that would be cool for a site anniversary sometime? Hmmm) and I'm still not satisfied with my knowledge of Twine. Maybe I’ll dip my toe in again sometime.

“I also think it would be cool to make a 3D page someday, and add an Oekaki board... But I’ve always found all the tutorials for implementing those really confusing. I’ll have to investigate further.”

I did neither of these. I’m not as interested in having an art board at the moment, tbh (though they are cool), but a 3D page is still such a neat idea. Maybe I should peek at MelonKing’s tutorials again in the future. I’ve seen a few really creative 3D web projects and having that layer of interactivity is always really exciting and fun to me.

I also made two other shrines (with one even featuring an interactive game of its own) and made some small and enjoyable edits to Clovenglade, like the recent expansion and the addition of hunger/thirst/etc. bars in the stable (as well as a very cool secret thing I’d like to continue to keep under wraps) and some graphical updates. I love this project of mine so much and I’d like to continue to let it grow with me, as websites are a constantly changing medium and all. I have plans for other expansions but those are meant for me to tinker away at between other projects- I’m not in a huge hurry. Also, I made some very cute adoptables this year and I hope to make some more for the Pet Shop.

When I made that original list all of the goals on there felt so out of reach (especially “Fields of Clovenglade”). I even made a silly little disclaimer like “UM not that any of this is coming out next year or anything don't get your hopes up!” Meanwhile I accomplished just about everything on that list...! It's so easy to find myself thinking that my work is imperfect and janky and needs to be better or fixed or whatever but I’ve accomplished so much I only dreamed of doing one day. Here's hoping for more in 2025.

So, here's the “new year but not necessarily in the next year” goal list:

-I love hosting games on my website!!! To this end, I want to learn a good free engine for making simple web-games. I want to make memory match, breakout, etc. style minigames in particular, which shouldn't be too difficult. I’ve been sniffing at GDevelop. But we'll see.

-I’d really love to redo the CSS on my OOE shrine so it doesn't use a clunky looking template. Nothing can replace just doing the CSS yourself, and I wish I had actually attempted to at the time! It's just hard to find motivation for this kind of thing.

-I’ve got plans for a shrine that, if all goes well, should randomize some text on the page-load to give the illusion of the webpage being “alive” and “talking to you” (if you're at all familiar with my tastes in online horror webseries you can probably guess what this shrine will be for.) The concept is that it's an in-universe website for an in-universe media property. I dunno when I’ll get around to this but I think the concept is pretty solid!

-I want to get back into writing music... I wrote a lot of shitty vocaloid music as a teenager but now I want to try actually cooking lol

-I believe I mentioned before my idea to make an interactive pet code snippet that accommodates for any image resolution and can be hosted 100% locally, called LocalPet and based on the code for the Clovenglade stable. That's still on the table as a future plan.

I think that's about it for now. Happy new year- I’ll be interested to look back on this in a year’s time.

Today's song is: Suphur Salt and Mercury by The Shroud